The YuGiOh! Twist Chronicles
by Genis Irving
Summary: A retelling of the infamous Yu-Gi-Oh! series. Except one thing is missing. The character's Sanity!!!! Guaranteed to leave you laughing or your money back!
1. Episode 0 Prepare yourself for the insa...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Prologue  
  
Okay. This one will be basically a re-write of the Duelist Kingdom.  
This is purely being done for fun. After all, I've done WAY too much   
serious writing. I need a break from it all. And besides, this could be a  
very good story! If not that, then at least a break from reality to get   
to comedy.  
  
Be ready for total chaos! And be ready to crack up laughing. This  
is gonna combine the card game of Yu-Gi-Oh! with my pure insanity. I'm not   
sure how this is gonna end up, but however it will, I know at least 1 person  
is gonna find themselves laughing.  
  
NOTE: This used to be called the Yu-Gi-Oh! Slayers Chronicles, but  
I changed things back to normal, because I had lost track of most of the  
cards. So, the slayers cards are gone, the normal cards are back. Sure, I  
had to remove a couple jokes, but that doesn't mean that they aren't still  
there... And yes, the cards do still talk. 


	2. Episode 1 Regional Goofs and Creation M...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 1 - Regional Goofs and Creation Mistakes  
  
"Yugi. You're done for!" cried out Joey as he played the  
Garuzies card. With an ATK of 1800 it beat up Yugi's Beaver Warrior with   
only an ATK of 1200. Yugi took 600 damage. Now both were even at 1000 Life  
Points left.  
  
"Alright then, Joey" Yugi responded, "I play... Summoned Skull to   
finish off Garuzies!" Summoned Skull attacked Garuzies and dealt 1300   
damage, winning the game for Yugi.  
  
"Dangit. You always win! I need a powerfull card. Something like  
a Red Eyes Black Dragon!" Joey whined.  
  
"I doubt you'd ever find yourself the owner of a Red Eyes Black  
Dragon." Tea said. "It's as rare as the legendary Blue Eyes White Dragon.   
We all know who has THAT though, don't we?"  
  
"I forget. Who?" Joey asked.  
  
"KAIBA, you idiot! The one that beat up Soloman!" Tea practically  
screamed.  
  
"Very true" Yugi said. "But there are people that have the Red Eyes  
Black Dragon. Rex Raptor is rumored to have one.  
  
"WHAT?" said Joey. "I don't believe that. There is no way! If he  
does, why hasn't he used it in the Regional championships yet??"  
  
"Nobody knows" Yugi said. "They say he's saving it for the duel  
against Weevil Underwood so he can beat his Great Moth. That's a very   
dangerous card, you know."  
  
"Everybody knows. It it almost imposible to beat! But if Rex  
Raptor DOES have a Red Eyes Black Dragon, there is no way Weevil could stand  
against it" Joey claimed.  
  
"HEY! It's almost time for the regional championships to begin!  
We'd better get to my place!" Yugi noticed suddenly. The group hurried off  
to Solomon Moto's Game Shop, where Joey decided to pick up a pack of cards  
while he was waiting for the championships to start. He found himself the  
proud new owner of a Sword and Shield.  
  
"Come on, Joey!" Yugi called to him from upstairs. Joey ran up to  
join them. Behind him came Soloman, Yugi's grandfather.  
  
The five (Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea, and Soloman) watched the finals  
of the regional championship with intrest. Weevil was falling behind Rex.  
Rex had 700 Life Points left while Weevil only had 400. Just then, Rex  
played the Twin Headed King Rex and attacked Weevil's Petit Moth that  
was equipped with a Cocoon of Evolution to try and create the Great Moth.  
Weevil then played a simple Basic Insect. The Basic Insect came to life on  
the stadium in front of them, but it wasn't near as impressive as the Two  
Headed King Rex was.  
  
Weevil screeched out "Bwa ha ha. This is the monster that will  
defeat you! Not right now, but when it is equipped with Laser Cannon Armor  
and the Horn of Light it is! AH HA HA HA HA HA!" he laughed as the tiny   
Basic Insect, now equipped with a set of armor with a cannon and a shining  
horn on it's head attacked the poor Twin Headed King Rex. The words "Ow!   
That hurt!" were heard from Twin Headed King Rex before he dissapeared.  
  
Rex followed through by defending with Greater Dinosaur. Weevil  
played the Stop Defense card to switch it to attack mode, and the Basic  
Insect killed it, winning the game for Weevil.  
  
"Aha! I knew Weevil would win it!" Yugi said.  
  
Just then Soloman walked back up the stairs and said "Yugi. There's  
a package here for you. From Industrial Illusions. The company that makes  
Duel Monsters."  
  
The group didn't take notice as Maximillion Pegasus granted the  
trophy to Weevil Underwood and invited him to a 'brand new tournament that  
will be held at the Duelist Kingdom.'  
  
After that, Yugi finally noticed the package and opened it. Inside,  
he found a videotape, 3 cards, a mysterious red glove with star imprints in   
it, and 2 star-chips. He fit them into the glove. "I wonder what this   
video tape and these cards are for?" Yugi pondered out loud.  
  
Joey grabbed the glove. "If you don't wonder about this, does that  
mean I can have it?"  
  
"No" Tea said, snatching it and giving it to Yugi. "These cards  
seem to be diffrent pictures. Look. There is a huge pile of money on this  
one. And that looks like the Duelist Kingdom. Look. That last one is a   
blank card. Isn't that odd?"  
  
"Yeah" said Yugi. He stuck the videotape in the machine. The face  
of a cartoon rabbit covered the screen.  
  
"GET OUT OF MY WAY" said a mysterious voice and the picture was  
pushed aside by two hands, then replaced by the face of Maximillion Pegasus.  
  
"Hey! That's Pegasus!" Joey noticed.  
  
"Hello, Yugi Moto. I, well, you know who I am now. I heard about  
your defeat of our champion, Seto Kaiba. I congragulate you and hereby  
invite you to participate in the competition." Pegasus said. "Of course, I  
would like to play a bit of a game first..."  
  
"What does he mean?" said Soloman. Then, he suddenly became quiet  
as the room turned black. The TV was replaced with a huge dueling arena.  
And sitting at one end was Pegasus, while Yugi was at the other end, with  
Joey, Tea, Tristan, and Soloman standing unmoving in the air behind him.  
  
"What did you do to him?" Yugi demanded.  
  
"Oh. They're just frozen in time. Don't worry. They'll be safe.  
On one condition. You have to beat me in a duel or else they won't be very  
safe much longer!" Pegasus taunted.  
  
"Pegasus... You are evil! I will defeat you now!" called out Yugi  
as his Millenium Puzzle glowed.  
  
"Yu-Gi-Oh!" came Yugi's voice, getting deeper by the second. A  
bright flash of light followed, then dissapeared. In Yugi's place was him  
in a Sorcerer-style outfit.  
  
"Ooohh.. fancy.." said Pegasus. He then snapped out of whatever he  
was doing. "Sorry about that. Anyway, let's duel! By the way, there is a  
15 minute timer. You'd best watch it."  
  
Yugi drew his hand and said "I'll start this duel off with the Curse  
of Dragon! With an attack power of 2000, not many monsters can hold off   
against it!"  
  
Pegasus smiled. "True. But I can. By playing the Dragon Capture  
Jar card, I can destroy it. Also, I use the Dragon Piper card to revive it  
under my control!!!" Pegasus smiled and cheered like a little girl. (Yugi:  
O_o)  
  
Yugi quickly played the Dark Hole to destroy both monsters and   
played a Monster Reborn to get back the Curse of Dragon. He couldn't attack  
without Pegasus having a defensive monster.  
  
Pegasus smiled and played a Black Rabbit card. A burst of black   
energy shot from the Curse of Dragon's mouth and tore through Black Rabbit.   
"HEY! Don't do that!" was heard from the Black Rabbit's mouth as he was   
destroyed.  
  
Yugi dropped two cards face-down and let Pegasus make his move. He  
smiled and said "To stop that Swords of Revealing Light that you have   
face-down, I'll use De-Spell to destroy it. I will then play my Shadow  
Prowler and destroy Curse of Dragon with it. You lose 500 Life Points, my  
dear.  
  
The clock ticked down to 10 minutes. "How did he know that I had a  
Swords of Revealing Light face-down? That's impossible... Or is it? If  
only I knew how he was doing it."  
  
"I'm using my Millenium Eye to read you mind... I mean... um..."  
Pegasus stammered.  
  
Yugi thought to himself "Is this guy ever weird." and then took the  
Dark Magician card from his hand and played it.  
  
Yugi then played the Book of Secret Arts on the Dark Magician to   
allow him to use a more powerfull spell. The sorcerer began to chant a  
spell.  
  
"Nice try, Yugi!" Pegasus said as he layed a trap card. The Dark  
Magician finished the spell.  
  
A huge bolt of energy shot at the Shadow Prowler, but the attack was  
stopped. Pegasus pointed out the Negate Attack trap card.  
  
"Filty Demon.." the Dark Magician pouted. "I swear I will get you   
yet."  
  
"Oh no you won't" said Pegasus. "And I'm going to use Tribute to  
The Doomed to keep you from attacking with her by destroying Shadow Prowler   
AND the Dark Magician.  
  
"No!" the hologram Dark Magician screamed and dissapeared.  
  
"Intesting move, Pegasus. What will you do now?" Yugi said as the  
clock ticked down to 5 minutes.  
  
"I'll play this. Ryo Ran. And with the Dragon's Treasure, he's   
strong enough to take out anything you can play!" Pegasus claimed.  
  
Yugi decided that there was only one way and moved a card from the  
top of his deck to the monster slot immediatly. The clock ticked down to 3  
minutes. Yugi then waited for Pegasus to attack. Yugi's Beaver Warrior was  
destroyed. Yugi dropped down to 400 Life Points. Pegasus was down to 700  
Life Points because he had attacked Black Rabbit. The Ryo Ran now had 2100   
Attack Points, so only two monsters in his deck could save him. The  
clock ticked down to 1 minute.  
  
"Almost time, Yugi. Make you move so I can win this duel." Pegasus  
taunted then cheered for Ryo Ran like a little girl.  
  
Yugi played his top card and attacked with it. He was amazed to  
find it was Summoned Skull, which was strong enough to get Pegasus down to   
300 Life Points now. Summoned Skull appeared and Ryo Ran ran screaming,   
trying to get away. Just as Summoned Skull almost reached him, both   
dissapeared.  
  
Pegasus cheered like a little girl once again, despite the odd look  
from Yugi. He then promptly said "Yugi. I win. The time ran out before  
your Summoned Skull could do anything. 'Tis a shame. If it had of   
attacked, you would have won. But I did! (Pegasus cheered for himself this   
time). So, just to make sure you do decide to duel in this tournament, I'm   
afraid I will have to use a bit of extra persuasion."  
  
Pegasus' Millenium Eye lit up and it shot a ray of light at the limp  
body of Soloman Moto as the stadium became a TV set again and everything  
went back to normal.  
  
"I'm sure we'll duel again, little Yugi-boy." Pegasus said as the  
screen fizzled out to show Soloman Moto. "Yugi! WHY IN THE ******* H-E-  
Double-Hockeysticks could you let this happen to me???" Soloman demanded.  
An image of Pegasus, laughing his head off with a high-pitched voice, said  
"I'm sure you'll come onto the island now. That was your grandfather's  
soul, Yugi. Next time we duel, it will not be for only his sake though.  
And, oh, yes, this tape will self destruct in 1 minute." Pegasus said as the  
picture disspeared and the VCR spit out the tape. The tape promptly did as  
Pegasus said and blew up. The VCR was damaged too.  
  
"MY VCR! NO! I can't watch Bambi anymore!" sniffled Tristan.  
  
"Tristan. We have more things to worry about now. Pegasus has  
taken grandfather's soul. And... Woah!" Yugi jumped as Tristan ran by him  
to hug the poor VCR.  
  
"We had so many good times together... Now I can never watch Bambi  
on you again. I'll miss you, old buddy." Tristan cried.  
  
"Umm..." Yugi started but couldn't say anything. Joey came up  
behind him alongside Tea and he said "Yugi, he's going through a hard time.  
Just let him be."  
  
"But what about grandfather?" Yugi asked. Joey and Tea stayed  
silent and stared at Tristan.  
  
After a few moments, Joey said "We're all gonna miss that VCR."  
  
Yugi yelled "BUT WHAT ABOUT GRANDMA? I mean, BUT WHAT ABOUT  
GRANDPA????" 


	3. Episode 2 Boat Hyjinks and Champion Idi...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 2 - Boat Hyjinks and Champion Idiots  
  
  
Eventually, Tristan got over the VCR's destruction and everybody  
finally realized Yugi's grandma.. I mean.. grandpa no longer had a soul. He  
got put in a hospital. Which doesn't make any sense, after all, what help  
can a hospital give to a soul less person?  
  
The day finally came when Yugi had to leave to catch the boat to get  
to the Duelist Kingdom so he could challenge Pegasus for Soloman's soul.   
Every top duelist, from Weevil Underwood to Mai Valentine was there.  
  
Yugi waited in line. He had discovered that it was possible to win  
3 million dollars if he wanted, but instead gave that card to Joey so that  
he could help his near-blind sister, Serenity. Tea had said "That's so  
sweet!" and Joey had simply said a few words.  
  
"Sweets are good tasting, you know!" he had said, making them all  
facefault.  
  
"Please show me your Star-Chips and any of the cards that you   
recieved to enter the boat" the Security Guard said.  
  
"Hey, Yugi, can I borrow one of your Star-Chips? I'm gonna need one  
to get on the boat and duel there" Joey asked.  
  
"Nope. I only have two of them" Yugi told him.  
  
"Come on, yug. You know I have to help my poor sister. You already  
gave me Glory of the King's Right Hand. Why not give me a Star-Chip?" Joey   
pleaded as they came closer to the front of the line.  
  
"Alright, fine. I wonder where Tea and Tristan went. Weren't they  
supposed to see us off?" Yugi pondered as the two showed their Star-Chip and  
cards to the Security Guards and were allowed access.  
  
"Stuck-up little brats.." Joey said to himself. Yugi turned and  
glared at him.  
  
"Sorry about that" Joey apologized.  
  
Meanwhile, at the cargo loading area, the cargo loaders had taken a  
break and two new figures had entered the premises.  
  
"Well, Tristan, let's move it!" the first said.  
  
"Alright, Tea. We gotta be quiet though" said Tristan.  
  
The two crawled along quietly to the ramp and crawled up it and in  
to the cargo room. They quickly left and found themselves amongst a crowd  
of duelists. Tristan pointed to a small dark area with boxes and the two  
ran over. They turned a corner and ran down the passage. Nobody was  
anywhere around this area. They turned again and ducked behind some boxes.  
Just then, a door near them opened.  
  
Tea risked a peak over the boxes and saw white/purple hair. She  
ducked back down and whispered "That's Bakura from school!"  
  
Tristan took a peak. "I can't see. Are you sure you saw him?"  
  
Tea looked again to find him lying in his bathing suit sunbathing.  
He had found almost the only sun this side of the ship.  
  
"Yeah. He's sunbathing" Tea said, blushing. She ducked back down.  
  
"Oh. So you like him, don't you?" Tristan mocked.  
  
"Shut up!" whispered Tea.  
  
Back on the boat, Yugi and Joey were looking over the edge of the  
water. Joey looked completly blank. Yugi turned and looked at him and  
spotted somebody beside him.  
  
"Hello. And you might be?" Yugi asked. Joey turned and blushed a  
bit.  
  
A girl with a blue jacket over a rather thin shirt and jeans was  
standing beside Joey. "You must be Yugi. My name is Mai. And this is?"  
  
"Joey" he said. Joey jumped up and smiled.  
  
"Yes, that's my name. And I think I..." he started.  
  
"Doesn't matter. The point is I'm going to beat you both. You will  
simply be a warmup, Joey. Yugi will be a real challenge however. I look  
forward to dueling him, but not you. You got on the boat by fluke. If it  
weren't for your friendship with Yugi, I'd say you'd still be sitting at  
home trying to figure out how to use trap cards! Well, either way, I'll see  
you both later." Mai taunted and left.  
  
"That was REALLY rude of her" Joey complained.  
  
Later that night, Joey and Yugi had headed to their rooms. However,  
easy travel was not to be so easy.  
  
"What do you mean, this is our rooms?" Joey whined.  
  
"These rooms aren't fit for rats!" Yugi complained.  
  
"These are the rooms you get. Only championship duelists get good  
rooms, kids" a security guard said.  
  
Yugi and Joey walked away when suddenly they heard another, familiar  
voice.  
  
"You expect a beauty like ME to sleep in a room like THIS?" a lady  
was complaining to another security guard.  
  
"Look, lady. Only top duelists get good rooms. You'll have to  
suffer like everybody else." he replied.  
  
Joey laughed. "Apparently we aren't the only ones who get these  
rooms. Poor poor Mai" he said sarcastically.  
  
Yugi couldn't help but laugh a bit.  
  
Later that day, a crash was heard not far from Yugi and Joey's  
rooms. Of course, they weren't there at the time. But they would have been  
amazed at what happened next.  
  
"Hey!" said a boy. "I'm Rex Raptor. What are you doing bumping  
into me at a time like this? And just before I was going to catch some Zs!"  
  
"Sorry" said Mai. "But if you're Rex, would you mind showing me  
your room?"  
  
Rex took a look over Mai and blushed. "Uh... sure!"  
  
Rex led Mai into his room. "Nice place you have. Much better then  
what they give the normal passengers." Mai said.  
  
"You aren't just a normal passenger though. You're a beautiful  
lady. You shouldn't be treated like that!" Rex said.  
  
"Hmm.. mabye I shouldn't. I'll tell you what. Let's have a duel,  
just for fun, using my deck. Here's the catch. If I win, I get the room.  
If you win, I give you a little kiss" Mai bargened.  
  
Rex obviously couldn't refuse. Mai's deck was split in half and Mai  
spoke "The first card you will draw is Elegant Egotist. Then Shadow of  
Eyes, Cyber Shield, then finally, Mirror Wall" she prophecized.  
  
Rex was stunned. The cards were EXACTLY what she had said.  
  
"I can draw any card I want and see exactly where every single card  
is in my deck!" She said.  
  
"I think I'm in some deep trouble now.." said Rex.  
  
Meanwhile, let's look in on what Yugi and Joey are up to. As it  
seems, they are currently in a lobby with a bunch of other duelists.  
  
"Wow!" said Joey. "There are so many duelists here!"  
  
"Of course" said a sneering stuck-up voice. The boys turned around  
to find Weevil Underwood.  
  
"Weevil! You're the Regional Champ!" Joey exclaimed. Yugi smacked  
Joey over the head.  
  
"Of course he's the Regional Champion. You watched him turn the  
tables against Rex Raptor, didn't you?" Yugi said.  
  
"Nice to hear you have watched me duel. So, are you planning on  
trading? I bet every single card you could ever want could be found in this  
boat. Well, except for, mabye, Blue Eyes White Dragon. And I bet you both   
have cards that everybody else would like, no doubt" Weevil told them.  
  
Joey immediatly rushed off to try and get some new cards.  
  
"And what about you, Yugi?" Weevil asked him.  
  
"I'm going to stay with my deck that I brought. No use in changing  
my strategy now" Yugi said.   
  
Weevil smiled and said "Mabye you would like to come chat in your   
quarters? We could get more privacy there."  
  
Yugi took Weevil to Yugi's room and left a trade-mad Joey to his own  
trading.  
  
The room overlooked the ocean. It was a decent room, but not the  
best possible. Aside from the view, the only really beautiful thing was  
that the bathroom was seperate from the room.  
  
"And they gave you this dump?" Weevil sneered. "Oh well. By the  
way, you own the legendary Exodia cards. The cards you used to win against   
Seto Kaiba. Could I see them?"  
  
"Alright" said Yugi, and he opened up his box of cards when Joey  
burst into the room.  
  
"Hey, yug!" Joey said. "I gotta show you these cards. Here we go.  
There is Baby Valgaav, and Salamandra too!" he showed the cards to Yugi.  
  
"Those are good cards. Here..." Yugi said as he opened his box and  
took out a Time Wizard. "This will help you even more."  
  
"Thanks!" Joey said and gave Yugi a big hug.  
  
"Get off of me, please" Yugi squirmed. Joey let go and Yugi fell to  
the floor.  
  
"Anyway, Weevil, here are the cards of Exodia" Yugi said as he   
pulled out the five cards.  
  
"Exodi... the cards that have only been succesfully used once. By   
you, Yugi. I've long searched for a way to stop Exodia and save the game,   
and now, finally, the chance to see the cards presents itself. And a way to   
save me from their power!" Weevil spoke as he neared the window.  
  
"Say goodbye to your last hope, the 'Invincible' Exodia!" Weevil  
screeched like a hawk as he threw them out the window. Joey dived in after  
them.  
  
"Joey!" Yugi cried out as Weevil left the room, laughing his ugly  
green-haired head off.  
  
"I'll get 'em, Yugi!" cried Joey. He landed in the water with a  
splash.  
  
Elsewhere in the ship, a splash of a different kind was made. It  
was more of a thump. Rex Raptor landed on his backside.  
  
"Sorry, Rex, but I won. So you have to clear out. And have a nice  
day!" taunted Mai as she shut the door.  
  
"I swear I'll get that girl. Just let her wait until I defeat her.  
Me and my Red Eyes Black Dragon will beat her up!"  
  
Meanwhile, Weevil had left the room and walked down the hall back to  
his own room, when he spotted Rex Raptor sitting down.  
  
"Can't get into your room?" Weevil sneered.  
  
"I got kicked out by some girl named Mai. She beat me in a duel. I  
swear she was psychic.." Rex started.  
  
"You're a wimp, that's all. I'm surprised that you could beat Mako  
Tsunami. And now you get beat by a simple girl. Her being psychic is your  
excuse! I know it!"  
  
"No! I swear it wasn't!" said Rex. The two began to fight. A  
security guard led Weevil back to his room and took Rex off to Mai's old  
room.  
  
"Dangit. This place stinks" Rex whined.  
  
Meanwhile, at Yugi's room...  
  
"Joey!" Yugi cried.  
  
"Don't worry, Yugi" Joey said. "I'm doing fine. Look. I've  
already got two of them. Just three more to go."  
  
"They aren't worth it, Joey" Yugi cried out to him. "Swim back to  
the boat, you idiot!"  
  
"Idiots don't make good friends, Yugi. I have to get these for you.  
If I didn't, I wouldn't be your friend!" Joey cried as he reached for a  
third one but was washed up by a wave.  
  
Yugi threw his shirt off and dived in after him. He landed with a  
splash in the water and dived down to grab Joey. When he rose again, Joey  
wasn't breathing. He looked for a way to get back on the boat and saw a  
rope hanging out of his bedroom window.  
  
"Yugi! Grab on!" came Tristan's voice from Yugi's room. Yugi  
grabed on to the rope. A couple minutes later, the two were back in the  
room. Yugi was still soaked and so was Joey. Joey had two cards in his  
hand, the Right Leg and Body. The last of the cards that Soloman had given   
Yugi. The last of the Dark Star Weapons.  
  
Joey came around soon and was very thankfull that the two had come  
or else they never would have been saved.  
  
After Yugi and Joey changed out of their soaking clothes and put on  
new outfits (Which looked exactly the same), the group used the beds and  
fell asleep.  
  
Sometime the next day, the intercom boomed "We've arrived at Duelist  
Kingdom! Please pack all your things and leave for the island at this time.  
I repeat, would all duelists please pack your things and leave the boat for  
the island. I repeat, would all... what do you mean I'm only supposed to  
say it twice?"  
  
"Finally, we are here. Duelist Kingdom. Where I will reclaim my  
grandfather's soul" Yugi said to himself. 


	4. Episode 3 Weevil Evil and other Stupid...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 3 - Weevil = Evil and other Stupid Math  
  
Alright. Time for a story review. Now then. Mai beat up Rex and  
Weevil threw the Exodia Cards that won Yugi's duel against Seto Kaiba  
overboard. Tea and Tristan snuck onboard and spotted Bakura there. Then  
they helped rescue Yugi and Joey, although only two of the Exodia Cards were  
found. The ship arrived at the Duelist Kingdom. Gee. Very exciting, huh?  
Now back to our irregular story.  
  
All the duelists on the ship started to pack their things and leave,  
when Yugi remembered something.  
  
"Tristan, Tea, what if somebody spots you as non-duelists? Then  
what will you do?" Yugi asked.  
  
"We'll just act natural, of course. Nobody could tell then that we  
aren't duelists. Of course, we really CAN duel..." Tea spoke.  
  
"Oh yeah. I forgot that you could duel" said Joey despite a glare  
from Tea.  
  
The group of 4 walked off the ship together. Tristan stiffened up  
as he walked past the guards.  
  
"Hey, you" one of the security guards said. "No need to be so  
stiff. You're one of ours and Mr. Pegasus' guests."  
  
"Yeah, that's right" said Tristan and he smiled and kept walking.  
  
"Strange kid" said the security guard.  
  
"That scared me. I thought he had figured out that I'm not a  
duelist for a moment" Tristan trembled as he ran to catch up with the group.  
"So what do we do now?"  
  
"There" Joey said, pointing up at the huge Castle on top of a high  
mountain. It was near the seaside. "That's where. But how do we get up  
there?"  
  
"With the stairs!" said Yugi as he started to run toward the base of  
what looked to be a thousand stairs.  
  
"AHHHH!" cried out Tea and she caught up to Yugi and ran infront of  
him and stopped him. "Isn't there an escalator anywhere?"  
  
"No, there isn't, Tea. Come on" Yugi said. Everybody had caught up  
by now and started to head up the stairs that wound up through the forest.  
Tea took a look over the edge.  
  
"Bakura?" she wondered to herself. She could have sworn that she  
had just seen him.  
  
"Oh. Seeing Bakura again, are you?" Tristan mocked. Tea felt ready  
to throw him over the side of the stairway.  
  
When the group reached the top, they got their first real look at  
Pegasus. He was waiting on a balcony near the top of the castle.  
  
"Welcome, duelists. Welcome to Duelist Kingdom, a tournament   
riddled with surprises all around the corner. You'll have to find them soon   
or you'll be eliminated soon. And I'm sure most of you don't want that.   
When you have earned 10 Star-Chips, you gain entry to this castle. From   
there, anybody who has earned them will face-off against one-another in   
duels to determine who finally competes against me. I hope it's going to be   
a lot of fun for you all!" spoke Pegasus. He then cheered in his girly   
voice and everybody covered their ears.  
  
"You mean we came up all these stairs just to hear THAT?" Joey  
whined.  
  
"The duels will begin in 1 hour when fireworks light up the sky. I  
wish the best of luck to you all!" Pegasus finished and walked off.  
  
"Good thing we shouldn't be hearing THAT voice for a while" Yugi  
said. The others nodded and everybody left to go find some place to duel.  
  
In exactly 1 hour after, fireworks shot up into the sky and the  
duels began.  
  
"So who are you going to duel first, Yugi?" Tea asked.  
  
"Weevil. I'm going to knock him out of the tournament. Me and him  
have a settle to score, I mean, a score to settle." Yugi replied.  
  
"Alright then. Let's find him... too late" Joey said as he spotted  
Weevil on the end of the field they were on.  
  
"Welcome, said the spider to ze fly!" Weevil sneered.  
  
"Weevil, I'm gonna take you down right now before you get a chance  
to cheat anybody else!" Yugi proclaimed. He then shouted "Yu-Gi-Oh!" and in  
another flash of light, he was replaced with a taller, older Yugi.  
  
"Well then, if you wanna duel.." said Weevil, "Here's the place!" he  
called, and the field opened up and out rose a huge dueling stadium, the  
same kind used in the regional championships. Yugi stepped on one end of  
the platform and it rose up. He could see a huge dueling field in front of  
him.  
  
"Go yug!" called Joey from the ground.  
  
"Will you please not call me that?" asked Yugi.  
  
"Whatever you say, Yug!" Joey called up. Yugi facefaulted.  
  
"So, Yugi is gonna duel Weevil. This is gonna be interesting" came  
Mai's voice from the bushes. She promptly walked out and took a good look  
over the dueling field.  
  
"Are you ready, Weevil?" Yugi asked.  
  
"DUEL!" Weevil challenged back and he played his first card. "I  
play the Basic Insect in defense mode!"  
  
Yugi drew his card and challenged back "Then I destroy it with  
Beaver Warrior!" he said. The Beaver Warrior appeared high in the air, then  
landed on and flattened the Basic Insect, making it dissapear.  
  
Weevil snickered. "Interesting. But how will you contend with my  
trap card? And until you find a way, I will play my Giant Mantis card and   
attack and flatten your Beaver Warrior!"  
  
A Giant Mantis appeared from the forest floor, and Yugi suddenly   
noticed something. Giant Mantis's ATK was supposed to be 1600. But it was   
at 2080. He tore into Beaver Warrior and Yugi lost 680 Life Points, leaving  
him with 1320.  
  
"If you had of been smart enough to steal the tournament's new  
rules, then you would know what kind of monsters did best on which type of  
square. Look around. Half the field is Forest and half is Plains. On the  
Forest squares, all my monsters get a power bonus of 30 percent!" Weevil  
taunted.  
  
"So that was the new rules Pegasus mentioned" Mai said. "I guess  
then that I know where I will need to go next for my duels.  
  
"Come on, Yugi. You can beat him! I know you can!" Tea shouted up.  
  
"Weevil = Evil, Yugi!" Tristan shouted up. "You can take him!"  
  
"And Joey = Dummy if you ask me" said Mai.  
  
"Mai = Modified Abiotic Idiot!" Joey retorted.  
  
"And just what does that mean?" Tea asked.  
  
"I'm not sure" Joey replied.  
  
"Friends are useless to Yugi. He has to rely on himself only if he  
wants to win this duel. Especially since if he loses he loses his only  
Star-Chip AND he loses his deck because he is challenging for Weevil's two  
chips. This is an all-or-nothing duel that Yugi can't afford to lose and  
his 'friends' will only distract him." Mai stated.  
  
"Grr...." Tea growled.  
  
Meanwhile, Yugi had defended against Giant Mantis and even destroyed  
it by attacking with Gaia, the Fierce Knight and dealing 140 damage to   
Weevil, leaving him with 1860 to Yugi's 1320.  
  
"An interesting card. But I lied. My card isn't a trap. It's a  
magical card. But before I can use it, I have to use my Petit Moth first.   
And now, I can play the Cocoon of Evolution, to turn my Petit Moth into the  
all-powerfull Great Moth, with enough power to destroy any monster in  
your deck!" Weevil said. The tiny worm that was the Petit Moth became  
trapped within a hideous hot-pink cocoon.  
  
"Hot-Pink? Well, we knew Weevil had no sense of fashion in the  
first place, but THIS is ridiculous!" Tea and Mai both complained at once,  
noticed that they were mimicing each other, and grimaced.  
  
"Gaia, attack!" commanded Yugi.  
  
Gaia dashed at the hot pink cocoon but he bounced right back off of   
it. Yugi took 300 damage leaving him with 1020 Life Points.  
  
"You fool! The cocoon has a defense of 2000, but on the forest  
squares, it gains 30 percent more defense for a total of 2600! BWA HA HA HA  
HA HA HA ha ha ha ha ha cough cough" Weevil coughed.  
  
"Dangit..." Yugi said. "But what do I do if I really can't beat  
that thing? Then what? I'll have to have a defense" Yugi said, playing the  
Feral Imp card in defense.  
  
"Going to have to defend? That's sad, Yugi!" Weevil taunted. "It's  
just 2 more turns until you can't do anything!"  
  
"He may be right" thought Yugi. "I need to be ready for anything  
but I don't wanna play something that will get me killed. I will have to  
end this turn for now."  
  
Weevil once again did nothing. He was really confident in his Great  
Moth and the fact that it would destroy all of Yugi's monsters.  
  
"Yugi, there is nothing you can do. When this dome cracks open, it  
will reveal the incredibly Great Moth. With it's power I can't be stopped!"  
Weevil taunted.  
  
"Yugi!" came Joey's shout. "You can't let this creep get to you.  
You gotta get fired up!"  
  
"Do you really think your cheerleading will make any difference? If  
you ask me, then I'd say the LAST thing he needs is your help. And if you  
ask me, I'd say he's finshed" Mai commmented.  
  
"I didn't ask you anything!" Tea blurted out. "And why is he  
smiling now?" she said, pointing up at Yugi. He was smiling. Or at least  
grinning.  
  
"What?" Mai wondered. "What possible idea could he have gotten from  
these freaks? And why is Tea sticking her tounge out at me? That arrogant  
little kid."  
  
"Fired up. That's it!" Yugi thought. he then spoke "I play this  
card, the Curse of Dragon! And with it I play the magic of the Burning   
Land! Attack, Curse of Dragon!"  
  
Milgasia shot fire out of his mouth and blasted the cocoon with it.  
The flames bounced harmlessly off.  
  
"Yugi, you idiot! You know that won't work!" Weevil taunted.  
  
"I know. I wasn't aiming for the Cocoon. I was aiming for the  
land. With it burned, you no longer gain a field power bonus! Leaving your  
Cocoon of Evolution with 2000 DEF, so that Gaia can take care of it! Go,  
Gaia!"  
  
"Gotcha, boss!" said Gaia as he stabbed a long lance into the hot  
pink cocoon. It exploded. Gaia backed off, but the pink gunk covered him  
and made him look like a female. "This sucks!"  
  
"No! My precious Great Moth... but it isn't over yet! Look!"   
Weevil said. A huge moth arose from the center of the half-destroyed  
cocoon.  
  
"It isn't as powerfull as normal, but it still has an attack of 2600  
even without the field power bonus! How will you fight it now?" Weevil  
screeched. 


	5. Episode 4 Yugi wins it, Mai loses it

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 4 - Yugi wins it, Mai loses it  
  
Okay. Yugi's in a bad position. Despite Gaia and Curse of Dragon   
being on the field, Weevil still managed to bring out his strongest monster,  
Great Moth!  
  
"It's a Good Moth! Er... Great Moth!" Joey freaked.  
  
Yugi looked at the huge demon. The Great Moth was flying, so then  
Gaia couldn't possibly hurt him...  
  
Weevil called out to Shabranigdo. "Attack with Tornado of Doom!"  
  
The Great Moth flapped his wings, high speed winds sweeping the  
ground-level of the stadium. Yugi quickly played a card from his hand.   
However, the winds easily destroyed the Feral Imp.  
  
Weevil was very proud of himself. "No more Gaia! Bwa ha ha ha!"  
  
Yugi smiled back and said "You were too busy laughing your head off  
to notice that I had played Polymerization. With it, Gaia and Curse of  
Dragon become Gaia the Dragon Champion!"  
  
Gaia had taken to the skies. The two combined had and attack power   
of 2600, a direct match for Weevil's Great Moth!  
  
"This now has enough power to match your Great Moth!" Yugi declared  
to Weevil. Weevil only snickered.  
  
"You fool!" he sneered. "Look again!"  
  
Gaia the Dragon Champion was now at only 2500 attack power.  
  
"What?" Yugi demanded. "WHAT KIND OF SNEAKY LOW-LIFE TRICK ARE YOU  
TRYING TO PULL, WEEVIL?"  
  
Weevil responded, saying "None. But whenever Great Moth uses the  
Tornado of Doom attack, not only does it hit all ground monsters, but it   
also releases something called a Death Spore. It will slowly take down your  
attack power! You're helpless to stop it!"  
  
Yugi backed up a couple steps. Gaia now had 2200 attack power.  
  
If Weevil waited long enough, when Gaia had only 1500, Weevil would   
do 1100 damage, just enough to take out Yugi's 1020 Life Points. Yet Weevil  
still had 1860.  
  
"How do you expect that Yugi is going to win this one?" Mai asked  
the group.  
  
"I don't care how. He's going to win, I know it. Somehow he will  
win!" Tea responded.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever she says!" says Tristan.  
  
"Go watch Bambi, you Kids!" taunted Mai. She didn't realize what an  
effect that would have.  
  
"Bambi, huh?" Tristan shouted back. "I'll show you Bambi! Me and  
our late VCR had some good times playing that movie! Some of my favorite  
memories were of that movie. If you make one more comment, I'll pound your  
face in!"  
  
"Ahhh!" screamed Mai. She ran off.  
  
"I was gonna get her good. She just *sniff* had to remind me that I  
can't watch Bambi anymore.." Tristan sniveled.  
  
Anyway, back up at the dueling grounds, Yugi was still looking for a  
way to defeat him. If he got attacked now, with Gaia only having 1600  
power, he would almost lose everything!  
  
Yugi drew his card an ordered an attack by Gaia. Gaia made a  
suicide strike, and he dissapeared in the winds from the Great Moth.   
However, Yugi only lost 1000 Life Points, leaving him with a mere 20. He   
was still alive, though.  
  
Yugi then played his Mishra, the Magical Mist spell. The entire   
field became wet. The Great Moth became soaked. The Death Spores washed   
away.  
  
"No!" shouted Weevil. "You bastard..."  
  
"Watch your language, Weevil Underwood!" Yugi said back. Yugi  
played Mystical Elf in defense mode.  
  
"Mystical Elf, huh?" Weevil taunted. "I'll take her out fast!  
Great Moth! Attack!"  
  
Great Moth attacked and Sylphiel dissapeared with a scream. Yugi  
then played the Ookazi spell. Weevil took 800 damage. Now things were a   
bit more even.  
  
"Weevil, I'm ready to fight you!" Yugi proclaimed. He played a  
monster in face-down defense.  
  
"You don't stand a chance, Yugi!" called out Weevil.  
  
Meanwhile, Tea, Tristan, and Joey were still chanting for Yugi while  
Mai was running through the bushes.  
  
Suddenly, she bumped into something. Something with purpley-white  
hair.  
  
"Hello" he said in an eerie voice. Mai took one look at his freaky  
face and at the glowing golden ring across the boy's striped t-shirt and ran  
in the other direction. As fast as she could. She promptly landed on Joey.  
  
"Err... hey, Mai" Joey said, trying to keep from blushing.  
  
"AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!" Mai screamed again. She couldn't decide just  
what to do anymore. She couldn't stay here. But if she ran off, she'd run  
into the freaky kid again. She stood up, looked around, and fainted back on  
top of Joey.  
  
"Mai, get off. Not that I don't mind this, of course" said Joey.  
Tea rolled Mai off of him and slapped him good.  
  
Tristan simply tried to remain focused on the game, despite his case  
of the snickers as he munched on something.  
  
"What are you eating?" said Joey when he stood up. Tristan turned  
around and showed him a Snickers bar.  
  
Meanwhile, Yugi had somehow managed to get down another 200 of  
Weevil's Life Points. Exactly how, nobody really knew. Yugi just knew it  
had happened. He was too busy cracking up laughing at what was happening  
down below. So was Weevil. It was now Yugi's turn however.  
  
Yugi drew a card and proclaimed to Weevil "I am the winner. Wanna  
see the proof?" Yugi asked. He then dropped the card Summoned Skull onto   
the field. It was still 100 points less then Great Moth.  
  
"You fool! How can you expect to win with a monster 100 points  
weaker?" Weevil taunted.  
  
"Simple" grinned Yugi. "With the Magical Mist all around, it makes   
the field all wet. Which means, of course, that since Summoned Skull   
attacks with lightning, it gains 1000 extra attack points! Enough to finish  
you off and win the game!"  
  
The rest of Weevil's Life Points counted down to 0 and Weevil fell  
over. And off the platform. The next word heard was "ow.. my head.."  
  
Meanwhile, Mai had woken up and been amazed to find that Yugi had  
beaten Weevil, relieved to discover that there was no freaky-looking guy   
with a glowing ring and purple-white hair, and then shocked to death because  
Tea told her what Joey had said when she was fainted on him.  
  
Joey got a good slapping. His cheek was now very red.  
  
"How could I lose?" Weevil cried.  
  
"True duelists duel for cheeseburgers.. I mean.. loved ones" Yugi  
said.  
  
Tristan turned with his half-eaten Snickers bar and said "Do you  
want a bite for your cheeseburger, Yugi?"  
  
"I hereby relieve myself on your dueling glove" said Joey.   
  
"Don't you mean 'relieve you of your' dueling glove, Joey?" Tea  
asked, a bit disgusted.  
  
"Yeah, that too!" Joey quickly corrected myself. Joey now had a  
shining new yellow.. er.. I mean.. red dueling glove with 1 Star-Chip, while  
Yugi now owned 3 Star-Chips in his. Mai, of course, disspeared quickly.  
  
Everybody continued to walk to find another challenger when out of  
the bushes stepped a familiar figure. Mai.  
  
"I'm demanding a duel for something that happened to me earlier. I  
wager 1 of my 4 Star-Chips against 1 Star-Chip" Mai challenged.  
  
"Alright" said Yugi. Mai stopped him.  
  
"A duel against Joey is what I want!" Mai challenged. 


	6. Episode 5 Baby Dragon and Demented old ...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 5 - Baby Dragon and Demented old Ladies  
  
Alright. Here's an unexpected plot twist. Mai just challenged Joey  
to a battle.  
  
"WHAT?" Joey jumped.  
  
"You heard me. You. Me. Duel. NOW!" Mai stated firmly.  
  
"Joey! You can't duel her! You'll get beat in a second!" Tea said.  
  
"She's got a point. You'll need to find somebody easy. Somebody  
you can handle. So you can get the three million dollars. Work your way up  
so that I can get a new VCR! And watch *sniff* BAMBI!!!" Tristan sniffled.  
  
"Oh.. I'll take her, trust me!" said Joey. Despite protests from  
Tea and Tristan, he walked towards Mai.  
  
Just as the ground moved under his feet!  
  
The ground split open and Joey dissapeared into the darkness. Mai  
laughed and laughed. Or, at least, she would have, if she hadn't realized  
that she had fallen down as well. Yugi ran up to the edge to try to shout  
out for Joey when the stadium rose. Joey and Mai were on opposite fields,  
not in the duelist's area!  
  
"Yo! Joey!" Yugi shouted. "I don't think you're a monster, so  
you'd better move it!"  
  
"I think he is" whispered Tristan. He was pounded by Tea  
immediatly.  
  
Joey and Mai both hopped off of the platform. A long way down, too.  
Mai cried out "I broke a nail!" and began to cry. She quickly stopped  
crying though and entered the duelist's area of the field. Joey just went  
straight there, not noticing that the swollen area where Mai and Tea had  
slapped him was now bruised even more.  
  
Joey began by playing his Garuzies card. He then ended his turn   
really fast. Mai smiled as she drew her card.  
  
"Joey, you fool!" Mai said. "A Garuzies is a pathetic card. It   
will be a target for my... Harpies Lady!"  
  
A wierd, screeching, strange, and generally unusual harpy arose from  
the ground.  
  
"But instead of attacking.." Mai taunted, "I'll play this - The  
Elegant Egotist! Allowing me to have 3 Harpies Ladies instead of just one!   
Each turn, more will appear, although, I only want the three. And since   
they count as one monster, I play the Cyber Shield! Raising their attack  
power to 1900 each! More then enough to beat Garuzies! However, I won't   
attack this turn and simply end" Mai continued to rant.  
  
"Will you just SHUT UP!" Joey wailed at her. "You're voice is gonna  
make my head explode. All this screeching is giving me a headache!"  
  
"Oooohh.. Just you wait until I beat you, Joey!" Mai shouted. "I'll  
make sure no other comments like that come out of your mouth!"  
  
"Funny, you always slap my cheek, not my mouth!" Joey wailed back.  
  
Joey was forced to shift his Garuzies into defense mode but set a   
Trap Card for her.  
  
"A trap? A sad pathetic trap? No match for me, Joey!" said Mai.  
She played the Harpy's Feather Duster. It wiped Joey's trap off the board.  
  
"No worries now!" Mai said. "Attack, Harpies Ladies!"  
  
The harpies formed into a triangle, shouted 'Delta Attack!' and  
fired off a large triangle ray. When it cleared, Garuzies was gone.  
  
"Damnit.." said Joey. He drew another card. He played Witty  
Phantom in defense mode. Mai was ready though.  
  
"How's this, though, Joey?" Mai said. She played the Shadow of   
Eyes. Witty Phantom shifted to attack mode and was cut through by the   
Harpies' spells. Joey was left with 1500 Life Points.  
  
"Damnit, Mai!" Joey swore. Tea looked at him in disgust.  
  
Meanwhile, unknown to anybody, a boy with spiky black hair was  
watching from the bushes.  
  
"There's that little brat Mai. I hope this kid beats her good. And  
if I watch this match, I'll get to know the perfect way to beat her! For I  
am Rex Raptor! I will win! AHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Somebody snuck up on Rex and tapped him on the shoulder. Rex turned  
to see a shadowy figure with a golden glow. The eerie voice said "hello"  
and that was all it took. Rex ran screaming his head off.  
  
Rex ran across the field, to the amusment of Joey and everybody  
else. Mai just looked on pitifully.  
  
"Were you spying?" Mai asked Rex. He looked disheartened and nodded  
his head yes.  
  
"Well, get out of here!" Mai yelled at him. He ran away faster then  
a Skull Servant being chased by a Blue Eyes.  
  
"Well then, let's get back to the duel!" Mai said. Joey drew his  
card then played a card face down, and played the Baby Dragon.  
  
"THAT sad thing?" Mai demanded. "You expect to beat me with that  
sad, sad, creature?"  
  
"That 'sad, sad, creature' is a personal favorite. Mabye you'll see  
why soon!" Joey replied.  
  
"What the heck is he up too?" Tristan asked.  
  
"I don't know. But if Joey draws one certain card, then he would  
have this match won in an instant right now."  
  
"Go! Harpies' Ladies! Attack the Baby Dragon!" Mai commanded. The  
Harpies shot out the magical triangle.  
  
Joey flipped his trap card over, Negate Attack. Mai's attack was  
stopped.  
  
"You only delay your defeat by one turn, Joey!" Mai commented.  
  
Joey hoped for the best and drew his next card. Yugi hoped for the  
best as well.  
  
"So, what pathetic card did you draw this time, Joey?" Mai asked.  
Joey only smiled.  
  
"What is he smiling about?" Tea asked.  
  
"It's the card he just drew!" Yugi responded. Joey played the card.  
  
"Go! Time Wizard!"  
  
A clock appeared on the field, a strange staff in his hand. *Pun  
Intended*  
  
"That pathetic thing? You can't surely expect to beat me with  
that!" Mai commented.  
  
"I sure as heck can!" Joey called out.  
  
Meanwhile, Rex had hidden himself once again in the bushes. He was  
thinking to himself. "What could be in Joey's dumb little head?" Rex asked  
himself.  
  
Elsewhere in the forest, Weevil had been trying to sneak around and  
steal some Star-Chips. He came upon a small clearing with a striped-shirt-  
wearing, whitish-purple haired boy with a golden artifact across his chest.  
The boy spotted him and turned to him. His face was a look of evil.  
  
"Hello, Weevil!" the boy cheerfully said. Weevil freaked out and  
started running for his life.  
  
Anyway, lets get back to Mai and Joey's duel.  
  
"Mai, this is the game-winning card!" Joey said. He called out to  
Time Wizard. "Go! Time-Travel Magic! Bring us into the future!"  
  
A huge swirling vortex appeared above the stadium. Virtual stones  
flew up from the ground and so did Time Wizard and Baby Dragon. That wasn't  
all that happened. As time flew by, new plants came and went, and the  
Harpies Ladies grew old and turned into demented old ladies in wheelchairs.   
They're attack power swooped down to a mere 1000.  
  
"What's going on?" Mai demanded.  
  
When the vortex dissapeared, Baby Dragon and Time Wizard no longer  
existed. Something else did though.  
  
The famous Thousand Year Dragon. With 2400 attack power. It was a   
force to be reckoned with.  
  
"Oh my god! My Harpies!" Mai shouted out. The Harpies were slowly  
melting away. They only had 1000 attack power now.  
  
"Now then. Thousand Year Dragon! Flame Breath!"  
  
The Thousand Year Dragon opened it's wide mouth. A giant white  
flame shot from the middle of it and tore into the old Harpies, killing   
them. And because so many were killed, Mai lost all her Life Points.  
  
"NO!" Mai screamed. "How could I lose to an amateur like you!" she  
demanded. She threw the Star-Chip across the arena, landing perfectly in  
Joey's Dueling Glove. She then jumped down from her platform and ran off.  
  
"You haven't seen the last of me!" Mai shouted back as she  
dissapeared.  
  
"She hasn't seen the last of me, either!" Rex noted to himself as he  
went off to follow Mai. Mabye now he could beat her.  
  
Joey stepped down off the platform and was greeted by Yugi.  
  
"You did it!" Yugi cried out. Joey smiled.  
  
"And here I was, thinking you wouldn't win. And he thought you were  
a monster!" Tea said, pointing to Tristan.  
  
"Shaddup!" Tristan told Tea. He got pounded good.  
  
"So then" Yugi said. "We're off to find any more duels if we can!"  
  
And the group headed off towards the midday sun.  
  
However...  
  
Before I can tell you the next story...  
  
I have to tell you THIS little one.  
  
Weevil continued to run through the bushes. That boy wasn't the  
kind you'd want to steal from. But neither was the kind Weevil ran into  
next.  
  
"Going somewhere?" Rex said to Weevil. "And where is your Dueling  
Glove? And your Star-Chips. Apparently somebody didn't win!" he taunted.  
  
"Damnit. You caught me!" Weevil gave up.  
  
"Don't give up. If you wanna steal some Star-Chips, I could have   
sworn I saw some way over back there!" Rex said. Weevil ran off.  
  
"That takes care of that problem" Rex said to himself. "Now to find  
Mai again."  
  
Of course, I have ANOTHER story to tell you, but I think that one  
can wait a bit. 


	7. Episode 6 No more Weevil, still more Ev...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 6 - No more Weevil, but still more evil!  
  
Alright. Quick review. Joey beat Mai. I told you it would be  
quick!  
  
"I'm sooooo hungry!" Joey whined. "When can we eat?"  
  
"I'm out of food because of you, Joey. You're a bottomless pit, I  
swear it!" Yugi told him.  
  
"We're all out of food!" the group complained.  
  
Joey suddenly stopped and sniffed the air, and took off toward the  
beach, yelling "I smell fish!"  
  
Everybody took off running. When they arrived, they found a fire  
with cooked fish around it.  
  
"Let's eat!" Joey cried. He ran up and began to munch all the fish  
when a man in only shorts appeared. He had spiky black-blue hair and a nice  
build. Tea blushed a bit.  
  
"You like him too, don't you?" asked Tristan. He got pounded once  
again.  
  
"Stealing a fisherman's catch. Shame on you!" the man said. Just  
at that moment, a splash of water caught him on the beach and he was swept  
away into the water.  
  
"You think he needs help?" Yugi asked.  
  
"He's a fisherman. He can swim!" Joey said.  
  
"Good point" said Tristan. He sat down and grabbed a bite to eat.  
  
The man appeared again. "Let's try this again. I'm Mako Tsunami.  
Who might you theives be?"  
  
Yugi stood up and said "I'm Yugi. Yugi Moto."  
  
Joey stood up, struck a 007 pose, and said "The name's Joey. Joey  
Wheeler."  
  
"Yugi, huh. What a surprise! Help yourself to the eats! It's all  
on me!" Mako said.  
  
"FEEDING FRENZY!" Joey and Tristan shouted. Before anybody really  
knew what had happened, the four had completely consumed Mako's fish.  
  
Meanwhile, let's check in elsewhere on the island. Namely, back in  
the forest.  
  
Weevil kept running. He was almost where Rex had told him...  
  
"Where's your Star-Chips, young man?" a burly security guard asked  
him.  
  
"Umm..." Weevil was at a loss for words.  
  
"Come on, then!" The guard commanded. He picked Weevil up by the  
collar. "Time to get you off of this island!"  
  
"WHAT?" Weevil screeched. "I'm not going anywhere!"  
  
"Yes you are!" the guard replied. "Mister Pegasus said to remove  
anybody who isn't in possesion of any Star-Chips at any time!"  
  
"Oh no!" Weevil screamed as he was taken off.  
  
At another place on the island (Namely the beach), a surprise was  
waiting for the group.  
  
"Now then. Yugi. In payment for me letting you and your friends  
eat, I demand a duel!" Mako challenged.  
  
"Alright then!" Yugi responded. A huge stadium rose out of the sea  
next to them.  
  
"Are you ready, Yugi?" Mako asked as Yugi transformed into his more  
mysterious self.  
  
"Ready!" Yugi said. He started by playing the Beaver Warrior in   
defense mode.  
  
"Alright then!" Mako proclaimed, playing a card. Yugi couldn't see  
what it was, but he could definatly see something under the water.  
  
"What is that thing?" Yugi demanded. Mako smiled and told him.  
  
"It's nothing for you to be worried about... yet!" Mako proclaimed.  
  
"Attack, Beaver Warrior!" Yugi called out. The Beaver Warrior  
jumped high in the air and body-slammed into the water.  
  
A few bubbles rushed to the surface and a tiny sword, but nothing  
else. Yugi's Life Points dropped 100.  
  
"What?" Yugi demanded. He thought a bit. There is one card..  
  
Yugi was forced to play an Silver Fang card. The nice wolf appeared  
perched in a howling position. He then played the Mystical Moon, raising   
his attack power to 1500. Enought to stand up to the monster's attack.  
  
"That thing doesn't stand a chance!" Mako spoke as he played another  
card. The Giant Jellyfish. A huge Jellyfish fell into the water. Mako  
then ordered an attack after playing the Poseidon's Power magic. The power   
of the monster under the water rose by 300 points as well!  
  
"Go! Attack, Giant Kraken!"  
  
A ton of tentacles whipped from the water, grabbing the wolf.   
Silver Fang vanished into thin air, and Yugi lost another 100 Life Points.  
  
"Ahh!" Yugi shouted. He drew another card.  
  
"Yes!" Yugi proclaimed to himself. He dropped the monster named  
Feral Imp.  
  
"And I equip him with the Horn of the Unicorn! It raises his attack  
power to 2000 points. But that isn't all! He now attacks with lightning!"   
Yugi procliamed.  
  
"How in heck is lightning going to help Yugi?" Joey asked. Tea  
smacked him over the head.  
  
"Water conducts electricity, idiot! It'll let Feral Imp electricute  
each of Mako's monsters at once!" Tea tried to explain. The operative word  
being tried.  
  
"I still don't get it" Joey sniffled. He got smacked again.  
  
Yugi shouted out to Seygram, commanding "Seygram! Electrical Bolt!"  
  
Seygram shot out a blast of electric energy from his mummy-wrapped  
hands. The water tore into the water and was all absorbed into one spot.  
  
"WHAT?" Yugi demanded. Mako's Life Points were still at 2000.  
  
"You fool!" Mako claimed. "The water is protected by the Jellyfish!  
In fact, the jellyfish itself has the power to absorb enough of your   
electrical attack that it is reduced to zero power! Now then.."  
  
Mako dropped one more monster onto the field. The Giant Sea Snake.   
It had a massive 2300 attack power.  
  
"No!" Yugi cried out as the Sea Snake launched his attack. A huge  
flood came over everything. Yugi lost 300 Life Points more. And now there  
was only 1 square of land left for Yugi to drop monsters on. The Evil Moon  
continued to hand in the air.  
  
"You can't expect to defeat the sea itself, Yugi!" Mako proclaimed.  
  
"I can tell when the sea is happy or sad. When the tides will rise  
or fall. Yet I cannot predict everything about it" Mako sadly said.  
  
"The sea can be sad?" Joey asked. For once, he wasn't smacked  
because Tea and Joey were just as confused.  
  
"My father died at sea. He was a fisherman just like I was" Mako  
spoke. "We were on a fishing trip one night. It became stormy. My father  
tied me down, saying that I would be safe. But the waves hit so quickly  
that he couldn't tie himself down. So now, I want to buy a great fishing  
vessel with the money. And by doing that, I want to search the seas for my  
father."  
  
"That's *sniff* so.. sad.." Tea cried.  
  
"I know" Tristan cried as well.  
  
"Mako, I have a loved one on the line as well. This is a duel I  
cannot afford to lose!" Yugi told him.  
  
"Then how will you survive?" Mako said.  
  
"With this card. Giant Stone Soldier in defense mode. It has 2000  
defense power. I'll place it on my last square. Since it's rock just like  
the ground it's on, it's defense is raised to 2400!  
  
"So you delay the enevitable!" Mako said.  
  
"I'm afraid that's all I can do right now" said Yugi sadly.  
  
Meanwhile, we have something else to check in on. Namely, somebody  
named Seto. Seto Kaiba.  
  
"Kaiba! Open this door up or we'll break it down! Mr. Pegasus  
would like to have a few words with you!" came a call from the door of one  
of the rooms in the castle.  
  
Kaiba quickly finished screwing in a screw in a mysterious white  
disk and dropped that one and one other into a breifcase. He turned as the  
door was busted open.  
  
"Kaiba! You're coming with us!" one of the security guards said.  
  
"You'll never take me alive! Never! I swear it, Never!" Kaiba was  
paranoid or something. He kicked a chair towards the guards and hopped out  
of a window.  
  
The guards checked out the window. Below was a sheer drop with the  
sea at the bottom.  
  
"He's gone" said one guard. "Nobody could survive a fall like that.  
Not even Kaiba."  
  
Another guard searched a few drawers then found a card deck.  
  
"This is it" the other guard said. "Pegasus was very clear. Saying  
he wanted the deck with the Blue Eyes." 


	8. Episode 7 Life, Death, and Craziness ab...

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 7 - Life, Death, and Craziness abound  
  
Alrighty then. So, to make a long story short, I can't make a long  
story short. Weevil is going to get draged off the island, Yugi is losing a  
duel against Mako Tsunami, and Kaiba died. I told you I can't make a long  
story short!  
  
Since the Giant Stone Soldier was on the last ground square, he had  
2400 defense. This only delayed the enevitable, Yugi knew, but it bought   
him time.  
  
"Yugi. Look around you!" Mako called out. "Your Stone Soldier is   
in deep trouble. Even though it's stronger, it's square of land is the   
last left. So my monsters are free to smash it the moment you put it as a   
target!"  
  
"That's what you think, Mako" called back Yugi. "You know you can't  
hurt them until I turn them to attack mode. But do you have a clue what I  
will soon do?"  
  
"Nothing you could do could stop me!" Mako shouted out.  
  
"Yeah. It's true. There's no way Yugi could stop Mako now!" Joey  
sadly said.  
  
"If we stop believing in him, then it's true! Then he won't win.   
If we don't give up, Yugi will win! I'm sure of it!" Tea said furiously  
before calling up "Go Yugi! You can win!"  
  
"Comeon, Yugi!" Tristan shouted up.  
  
Alright. Episode break. Let's take a look elsewhere, shall we.  
Namely, at the corpse of Seto Kaiba, at the sea floor.  
  
Wait a second! What the heck is he doing hanging from the side of  
the cliff? This isn't supposed to happen!  
  
Kaiba made his way carefully alongside the cliff to a small cavern  
near a bend. He crawled in and made his way up to the surface. His white  
briefcase was still in his hand.  
  
"Don't worry, Mokuba" Kaiba said to himself. "I'll save you from  
Pegasus."  
  
Kaiba made his way carefully back to the castle and watched a window  
in the north tower.  
  
Back at the beach, Yugi and Mako were still in a heated duel. Mako  
had played a Great White Terror. Yugi's Giant Soldier of Stone was now   
surrounded by 4 monsters at once!  
  
"I've got to come up with something!" Yugi thought to himself. "If  
I don't, who knows what Mako will do next?"  
  
Yugi was forced to draw. The card was a Curse of Dragon. A Curse  
of Dragon?  
  
Yugi forced a smile. Down on the beach, his friends had noticed it.  
  
"He's smiling! I can't believe it!" Tea called out.  
  
"He is! YAY! GO YUGI!" Joey called up.  
  
"You can do it! Fight for Soloman! Fight for BAMBI!" Tristan  
cheered.  
  
"Why do you always mention Bambi in almost every single episode?"  
Joey asked.  
  
Tristan glared at him and Joey shut up.  
  
Meanwhile, Mako's turn had passed. He still didn't want to attack.  
He really wouldn't be able to do anything, and it wouldn't matter if he  
played another monster.  
  
The Mystical Moon reflected on the water and Yugi's hopes were as   
dark as it was.  
  
Let's take a look at something else. In particular, the fate of one  
Weevil Underwood.  
  
Weevil had been dragged off to a dock and stuck in a boat. The  
guard there was very stern about them trying to get off.  
  
"But I swear, I didn't lose my Star-Chips. They were stolen!" cried  
out a voice from the forest. A green-shirted kid with wild green hair  
appeared and was dragged onto the boat by another guard.  
  
"Sure, kid" the guard said as he tossed the boy onto the boat.  
  
"Get off me, kid!" Weevil cried. "I'm Weevil Underwood. Nobody  
lands on me and gets away with it.  
  
"That's nice. I'm Roberto. But you can just call me ESP Rob" the  
boy said.  
  
"I'll call you Ewgot Tinkletrousers if I want" spat Weevil.  
  
"Very well, Uvana Goda Dabaffroom" Rob replied.  
  
The funny name war continued admist the guard trying to calm things  
down. When he finally had, 'ESP' Rob had finally returned to trying to  
convince the guard that his chips were stolen.  
  
"It was a kid with black hair and big round eyes. It had to be a  
boy. He had a funny-looking hat and a striped shirt and jeans. He also  
wore a bandana, so I couldn't see who it was!" Roberto tried to explain.  
  
"Yeah, sure. And I got mine stolen by a spiky-haired purple-and-  
yellow-streaked trouser-wearing freak who calls himself Yugi Moto!" Weevil  
spat at him.  
  
"You know Yugi?" Rob asked.  
  
"Of course I do!" Weeevil said. "I could have sworn I destroyed the  
only chance he had of winning, too!"  
  
Meanwhile, let's check in on Seto Kaiba. Okay, so he's STILL  
staring at the window in the castle. Now what the heck is he waiting for.  
So let's take a look inside the castle.  
  
At one certain Maximillion Pegasus. He was sitting reading a comic.  
Namely, Slayers Medieval Mayhem. He was also sipping wine.  
  
"It's at times like these I love my job" Pegasus said to himself.  
"A good manga and a nice glass of fine wine."  
  
Just at that moment, a guards came into the room.  
  
"What do you want, Kimo?" Pegasus asked the guard.  
  
Kimo replied "Both Mokuba Kaiba and Seto Kaiba have mysteriously  
dissapeared. They are nowhere to be found on this island."  
  
Pegasus put down the comic book and turned. He spoke to Kimo. "I  
have a plan. Just try to find Yugi and Mokuba, then keep an eye on them.  
Once you find them, I'm sure you'll find Kaiba and Mokuba. Trust me on that  
one."  
  
Kimo then walked over to his boss and put a deck of cards at his  
place. "And this is the deck" Kimo told him. Pegasus began to laugh like a  
madgirl.  
  
Pegasus grabbed the deck greedily and dismissed Kimo. Kimo wasn't   
going to go against Pegasus' wishes, and left the room admist Maximillion's   
high-pitched girly laughter.  
  
Pegasus snapped his fingers and called out "Doppleganger. I have a  
job for you!"  
  
Out of nowhere, a fat man appeared with a cloak. He was a copy cat,  
a Doppleganger.  
  
"I think you know what to do!" Pegasus said as he handed  
Doppleganger the deck.  
  
"Thank you, Master Pegasus" Doppleganger said and dissapeared.  
Pegasus continued to laugh.  
  
Alright. I'd say we might as well take one last look back at the  
beach, right?  
  
Yugi drew one last card and smiled. He shouted out to Mako, saying  
"The game is over, Mako!"  
  
Mako stepped back as Yugi shifted his Stone Soldier to attack mode.  
  
"Attack mode? You stupid little.." Mako taunted.  
  
"I'm not attacking your monsters, Mako. I'm attacking the Mystical   
Moon I played earlier!"  
  
The huge stone sword slashed and shattered the Mystical Moon.  
Chunks fell down and splashed in the water. Suddenly, everything was dry.  
  
"Of course! The tides come in when the moon rises! I get it now!"  
Tea said. "With no more moon, the tides become low!"  
  
"Could you explain that again?" Joey asked. He got smacked upside  
the head.  
  
Up on the field, all of Mako's monsters were now beached. And Yugi  
took the opportunity. Without the water, they couldn't attack. Not only  
that, but their power was decreased. Yugi played his Curse of Dragon in  
attack mode and equipped him with the Burning Land magic card.  
  
"You're finished, Mako!" Yugi shouted out. "Curse of Dragon! Flame  
Breath attack!"  
  
Curse of Dragon opened it's mouth, spewing flames. When the flames   
were gone, so were Mako's monsters. Yugi had done enough damage to win the  
game.  
  
"No!" Mako cried out. He gave Yugi two Star-Chips and swam away   
into the sea. He called back "Yugi, you duel good! I'll find my father by  
myself, and when I do, I will get the card he owned, so I can beat you once  
and for all!"  
  
"Goodbye, Mako!" Yugi cried out as Mako swam fast into the sunset.  
  
"That was weird" Joey said as Yugi climbed off the platform and came  
over to the beach.  
  
The group continued to head along the beach. Only to spot Rob and  
Weevil fighting.  
  
"What's going on here?" Yugi demanded.  
  
And just before I leave you, I'll give you this note.  
  
Kaiba turned away and left, muttering to himself. "Mokuba, you are  
safe then. So I will find you. Trust me, little bro, I'll help you out." 


	9. Episode 8 Big Kaiba, Little Kaiba!

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 8 - Big Kaiba, Little Kaiba!  
  
"Some kid stole my Star-Chips. I didn't lose them!" Rob complained.  
  
"And just who are you and why do you expect us to believe you?" Tea  
asked.  
  
"Well, I'm Roberto. You can call me ESP Rob. Anyway, I can't make  
you believe me, but you just have to! He was a short kid, about this  
height" Rob motioned with his hands, "a weird hat, a striped shirt and  
jeans, spiky black hair, and was wearing a blue bandana around his mouth.  
He has my deck too!"  
  
"We'll find him" said Yugi. He started to walk away.  
  
"You'll have half an hour until this boat leaves" the guard told  
him.  
  
"And get my Star-Chips back while you're at it, Yugi!" Weevil called  
out desperatly.  
  
Everybody turned and followed Yugi. They soon came across a meadow.  
  
"This is the place he said he saw the kid" Joey said.  
  
"I don't see any kids. Well, except for you, Joey" Tristan mocked.  
Joey stopped and tried to make out the meaning of what Tristan just said.  
  
"Look! Over there!" Tea cried out, pointing across the meadow.  
There was a small boy there, waiting near an arena.  
  
"Yugi!" the boy called out. "If you want the Star-Chips back, come   
and win them!"  
  
The boy ran to a dueling platform and hopped in. Yugi quickly  
headed to his side of the platform and called upon the Millenium Puzzle. He  
once again became the bolder, older Yugi.  
  
"Give me the Star-Chips now!" Yugi demanded.  
  
"Never! I have to get these Star-Chips and yours, too!" the boy   
called out.  
  
"Alright, fine. If you want them, come and get 'em!" Yugi  
challenged. The tickers ticked to 2000 ticks.  
  
"Stupid ticks" said Joey as he held up his hands to his ears. "They  
give me headaches."  
  
"Are you sure it's not from you constantly getting smacked by Tea?"  
Tristan asked.  
  
"Shaddup!" Joey cried out and smacked Tristan upside the head.  
  
The young boy went first. Yugi called out "Why did you steal them?  
You have to return them!"  
  
The child responded "Tell that to my... Crocodilius!"  
  
A large yet funny-looking crocodile appeared.  
  
"Is that all?" Yugi asked. He played Beaver Warrior. The beaver  
jumped up really high and but-slammed the Crocodilius, squishing it.  
  
The boy's Life Points snuck down a few hundred.  
  
"Nice move, Yugi Moto. But I have to win this to give these   
Star-Chips to my brother! I can't afford to lose!" the boy whined. He   
played a Man-Eater Weed. A group of thorns appeared, but Beaver Warrior  
body-slammed the lot of them. The boy's Life Points dropped down another   
few ticks.  
  
"You can't win with cards that aren't yours!" Yugi shouted across.  
  
"Wanna bet?" the boy shouted out and a tiny bit of recognition came  
into Yugi's mind.  
  
"I know who you are!" Yugi called over. "You're Mokuba Kaiba! Seto  
Kaiba's little brother!"  
  
"What?" Joey asked in surprise. "That's Seto's brother?"  
  
"Of course!" Tea said. "Don't you remember him from Yugi's duel  
with Seto?"  
  
"No" Joey quietly said. He got another pounding.  
  
"Mabye it IS Tea's pounding that gives you headaches, Joey!" Tristan  
taunted. He got pounded again.  
  
"I think I have a headache now.." Tristan slowly complained.  
  
Meanwhile, the boy had torn off the bandana to reveal that he really  
was Mokuba Kaiba. "I have to win though, Yugi. You won't believe what  
Pegasus is planning."  
  
*Begin Mokuba's Flashback Sequence*  
  
Mokuba walked past a door in Kaiba Corps. He suddenly overheard  
voices and decided to listen. He pressed his ear to the door.  
  
"So, you wish to merge our two companies?" A girly, mysterious voice  
said.  
  
"Yes. Industrial Illusions and our Kaiba Corps. into one company"  
said a deep voice.  
  
"You know, though, that Kaiba Corps. has to have a living member of  
the Kaiba family make any changes to control of the company, I suspect?"  
said another deep voice.  
  
"And there is no way Master Kaiba could possibly hand over control  
of the company!" said one other deep voice.  
  
Then a familiar voice to Mokuba spoke next. "He must be dealt  
with."  
  
Mokuba found himself shocked. Thinking that the company's top  
executive would want to remove his big brother from the picture! That Malik  
Ishtar would want to do that?  
  
"Yes, of course" said the mysterious girl's voice.  
  
"So then, Mokuba will be captured" spoke one deep voice.  
  
"And Kaiba dealt with. I've waited long to have him out of my way!"  
Malik's young yet spooky voice spoke.  
  
"But there is one more thing you must deal with" a deep voice spoke.  
  
"Oh yes" Malik began. "Kaiba Corps. reputation has been stained by  
one Yugi Moto. If you or a representative of you could beat him, then we  
would have no problems merging companies."  
  
"Of course. You can trust me!" said the girl's voice one last time.  
"And to prove it, here is the Younger Kaiba, Mokuba!"  
  
Mokuba turned to run, but found himself staring up at a guard.  
  
"Kimo! Bring me Mokuba Kaiba!" the girl's voice said. Kimo grabbed  
Mokuba and pulled him into the room. Mokuba found himself in front of top  
executives of Kaiba Corps., including the top one, Malik Ishtar. The girly  
voice belonged to Pegasus, who Mokuba recognized now.  
  
"This is nice work. I can see we can trust you!" Malik said. He  
asked Kimo to take Mokuba somewhere to be held.  
  
"All that is left is to take Kaiba out of the picture and then take  
Yugi out of his game" Pegasus cheered, to the annoyance of the members.  
  
As everybody walked out, Mokuba overheard Malik saying "Are you sure  
you want to join up with a squealing brat like Pegasus?"  
  
*End Mokuba Flashback Sequence*  
  
"So how did you get out then, Mokuba? And why did you have to come  
face me?" Yugi asked the younger Kaiba.  
  
"Well.." Mokuba began.  
  
*Start Mokuba Flashback Sequence v2*  
  
Mokuba grabbed his bed-sheets and rolled them up into a long cord.  
Mabye if he could only...  
  
"Yo! Kid! Open up! It's breakfast time!" a guard called from the  
door. Mokuba had shut it tight.  
  
Mokuba quickly wrapped the blanket-rope around one end of his bed  
and then used it to get out the window. He propelled down the side of the  
castle.  
  
Just then, the door burst open. "Yo! Kid! Where are you?" an old  
security guard demanded.  
  
He looked out the window to see Mokuba at the end of the bedsheet-  
become-rope. Mokuba looked up and jumped down into the forest. The guard  
rushed off to tell Pegasus. Mokuba landed with a thump in a tree. He was  
bruised, but safe. Mokuba grabbed and pulled a pine needle from his behind.  
  
"I thought these were all Fur trees, though" Mokuba pondered.  
  
*End Mokuba Flashback Sequence v2*  
  
"And as to why I wanted to duel you.." Mokuba began, "If I can  
defeat you then Pegasus cannot. If I can get you kicked off the island then  
Pegasus can't get control of Kaiba Corps.! You have to understand, Yugi!"  
  
"And you have to understand too!" Yugi called back. "I have to keep  
fighting! If I don't, I can't save my grandfather's soul!"  
  
Yugi looked at Mokuba agian.. or, at least, tried to look at Mokuba  
again. He then found himself being pushed off of the dueling platform.  
Mokuba had climbed up, grabbed Yugi's Star-Chips, and run off.  
  
"Mokuba!" Yugi shouted. Mokuba continued to run off. Joey and  
Tristan ran after him.  
  
Tristan grabbed the kid and Joey tackled them both turning them into  
a dog pile. Joey spoke harshly to Mokuba. "If you want to see your bro  
again, you'd best give the chips back to the person you stole them from!"  
  
Mokuba quickly agreed out of fear and was lifted up. He ran off in  
another direction, toward Robert. Yugi followed.  
  
When they got there, however, the boat was leaving. Weevil shouted  
out "I'm not rowing!" and was smacked by Robert.  
  
"I have the boy's Star-Chips!" Yugi called out, but Kimo smacked   
them away. They fell in the water.  
  
"Some of thoes belonged to Yugi!" Tea cried out. Joey and Tristan  
lunged at Kimo, but got punched over into the water.  
  
"I'm soaking!" Joey whined.  
  
"But the boat wasn't supposed to leave until 2 minutes later!" Yugi  
complained.  
  
"Pegasus sets the schedule. When it leaves, it leaves!" Kimo told  
them. Kimo then grabbed Mokuba and lifted him up.  
  
"This guy is a guest of Mr. Pegasus" Kimo said, leaving.  
  
"No he's not!" Yugi shouted out.  
  
"Alright then!" Kimo said, turning. "In one hour, meet me at the  
meadow where you found this kid! Be there sharp! If you can win a duel,  
then you can have the kid back!" and with that, Kimo turned once again and  
left.  
  
"Come back, you snivling whiner!" Joey shouted out. "You were  
lucky! I'll beat you up good!" he threatened. Tristan did the same.  
  
Meanwhile, the older Seto Kaiba hurdeled over a wall. He found  
himself in what looked like any other part of the forest, but it wasn't. He  
dropped down to the floor and reached around. His hands found a piece of  
metal.  
  
Kaiba grabbed it and pulled. It was a chain attached to a trap door  
in the forest floor. He entered the trap door and decended into the  
darkness. The door closed behind him.  
  
The next room was a library, but Kaiba knew it was more then that.  
He went to the romance section, muttering "Nobody would even THINK of  
searching this section!" and grabbed three books. The shelf moved to reveal  
the thin inside of the shelf. Kaiba headed back down and the books returned  
to the shelf which slid back into place.  
  
After climbing down under the library, Kaiba found himself at an eye  
monitor. It scanned his pupil and he entered the next room.  
  
Suddenly, everything changed. He was in a room with computers all  
over. He started up the program.  
  
The message 'Now Starting Windows 95' came on. It was then followed  
by a purely blue screen. Most people would have thought of it as the 'blue   
screen of death' and restarted. Not Kaiba though. He said "Hello" to the  
computer. It responded in a feminine tone.  
  
"State Identity" the computer asked.  
  
"Seto Kaiba" the older Kaiba said. The computer paused for a moment  
and it was suddenly filled with a swirling blue vortex.  
  
"Seto? Why, this is strange. Having to break in to your own  
computer? There must be a story behind this one!" the feminine computer  
program asked.  
  
"There is, but we don't have the time for that. We need to find  
data on Yugi!" 


	10. Episode 9 Dark Magic vs Dragon God

Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles  
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof  
By Zelloss  
  
Episode 9 - Dark Magic vs. Dragon God  
  
  
"Alright, we're here!" Yugi shouted out. "So where's Mokuba?"  
  
Kimo turned from behind a nearby dueling stadium; in his hand, the  
young Mokuba Kaiba squirmed.  
  
"Alright, Kimo!" Yugi challenged. "I'm challenging you to a duel!"  
  
Kimo smiled, despite the kicks from Mokuba. "I'm not the one you'll  
be dueling!"  
  
Yugi looked shocked, and so did the group. Kimo's finger stretched  
towards the top of the stadium.  
  
Everybody turned to see a familiar shadow at the top of the stadium.  
  
"Kaiba?" Yugi demanded.  
  
"Good afternoon, Yugi" said Kaiba's deep voice.  
  
"I'm afraid Kaiba met with an unfortunate end earlier today" Kimo  
spoke with a tinge of sadness. "Of course, he's got a vengeful spirit, one  
that comes back to defeat you, Yugi Moto!"  
  
Mokuba stopped kicking as he said that. He fearfully looked at the  
man on top of the stadium. His own older brother, Seto Kaiba. No, it  
couldn't be!  
  
"You're not my brother!" Mokuba shouted out in protest.  
  
Yugi quickly stepped onto the dueling platform as it rose up,  
becoming Yami Yugi as he did.  
  
"Kaiba?" Joey spoke, stunned. "Wait a second... who was he again?"  
  
Téa wanted to smack him, but Tristan got in her way and took the  
blow. Téa's lips turned up into an evil smirk.  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere inside the island...  
  
"Let's find Yugi Moto!" Kaiba spoke.  
  
"How can we find him?" the computer program asked. "Especially if  
Pegasus has locked all data on him..."  
  
Kaiba stopped in thought for a moment. "Pegasus hasn't locked all  
data, trust me! We'll find him, but how?"  
  
Back on the surface, Yugi's duel had already begun. Kaiba took the  
first turn.  
  
"Go, Hitatsu-Mi Giant!" Kaiba called, playing a card. A rather   
tall, one-eyed giant appeared.  
  
Yugi stopped. That was exactly how they had begun their first duel!  
He knew exactly how to counter it.  
  
"Go, Gaia, the Fierce Knight!" Yugi commanded, sending Gaia forth at  
the instant he appeared. Gaia ran towards the Hitatsu-Mi Giant...  
  
There was a stabbing sound, a tiny squeak, and the Hitatsu-Mi Giant  
turned into a mouse, then dissapeared.  
  
Yugi and Kaiba stared eye-to-eye, totally confused. "A mouse?"  
  
Just for explanitory purposes, we'd best go to Pegasus' Castle...  
  
"It appears we have a bug in the system..." Kimo began to tell the  
head of Industrial Illusions.  
  
"No, we have a mouse in the system..." Pegasus cursed. "It seems as  
though the REAL Kaiba is online..."  
  
"What does one have to do with the other?" Kimo wondered aloud.  
Pegasus just shrugged.  
  
"Just made sense..." Pegasus breathed deep. "You have no sense of  
humor, Kimo..."  
  
"But I do, sir!" Kimo popped on a clown's mask. Pegasus took one  
look, then screamed his head off and jumped behind his chair.  
  
"NEVER WEAR A CLOWN MASK IN MY PRESENCE!" Pegasus demanded.  
  
"YIPES!" Kimo shouted, jumping away and tearing off the mask. "I  
thought you liked clowns? You certainly like toon mon..."  
  
"THAT'S THE SECRET PLAN!" Pegasus continued to shout. "YOU CAN'T  
SAY THAT!"  
  
"Err..." Kimo paused. "Umm... Sorry."  
  
"Better, Kimo!" Pegasus smiled. "Now then, let's bring up the duel  
with Yugi and our little friend, the Doppleganger!"  
  
Well, as he said, let's bring up the duel with Yugi and our little  
friend, the Doppleganger... Hold it! He's not our friend...  
  
"Go, Saagi the Dark Clown!" the copy Kaiba grinned, playing the  
nible little magic beast in defense mode.  
  
Pegasus' scream was heard all over the island.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Tristan plugged his ears.  
  
"I don't know..." Téa moaned.  
  
"Go Yugi!" Joey shouted up, before the full force of Pegasus' scream  
hit him. He fell over backwards, stunned. Even Saagi and Gaia fainted from  
the force of the sound. Both monsters dissapeared.  
  
"Holy..." Yugi whispered, "That's quite the blast..."  
  
"You like it?" Kaiba grinned, "It's something Master Pegasus does  
lots..."  
  
"You're not Kaiba!" Mokuba shouted. "Kaiba never calls Pegasus  
'Master', he only calls him..."  
  
"Let's get that Squealing bastard..." Kaiba growled, as a map of the  
Duelist Kingdom popped up on screen. "Search for any place the card 'Dark  
Magician' is in play..."  
  
"Alright, Kaiba, but I don't see why you'd look for a card like  
that, to be honest with you..." the feminine computer program responded. A  
small panel opened in the side wall and a tray of food came out on a metal  
arm.  
  
"Oh yes, and your food is ready..." the computer added, as an  
afterthought.  
  
Kaiba's eyes went big and starry as he looked over the small tray.  
  
"MISTER POCKY!" he shouted, grabbing a small box of candies. He  
greedily dumped them into his mouth.  
  
"Nnyfng?" Kaiba asked through a mouthfull of Mister Pocky.  
  
"I'm sorry, what?" the computer asked.  
  
"NnyfngbowtheDorkMgicin?" Kaiba swallowed down some of the box-full  
of his favorite snack.  
  
"WHAT?" the computer demanded.  
  
"You're a computer. This is a lot of years in the future, you're  
supposed to understand EVERYTHING" Kaiba sighed.  
  
"Sorry, but there's no card on any field named the Dork Magician..."  
the computer responded.  
  
"Dark, not Dork!" Kaiba corrected. His mind wandered to an image of  
the Dark Magician with pocket protectors, big plastic glasses, and wielding  
a keyboard instead of a staff. He shuddered.  
  
"Keep looking," Kaiba encouraged the system, "Yugi's bound to play  
it sometime..."  
  
Alright. I'd say we've seen enough of Pegasus and Kaiba. We've  
certainly heard enough of Pegasus. So let's watch Yugi for a bit.  
  
"Go, Dark Magician!" Yugi smiled, playing the magician. Thankfully,  
it was without a keyboard, pocket protectors, and glasses.  
  
Kaiba grinned. "Go, Blue Eyes White Dragon!"  
  
A huge monsterous dragon tore from the ground. It glared hard at  
the Dark Magician. Yugi hurridely slipped a card face down.  
  
"Attack with White Lightning!" the Copy Kaiba commanded. The huge  
dragon's mouth opened and a blue beam shot out.  
  
"Blue? Isn't it supposed to be white?" Tristan wondered.  
  
Téa, instead of smacking him, just shrugged. "You have a point..."  
  
Just before the attack hit, it stopped and bounced back at the  
Dragon, tearing into it. A mirror was protecting the Dark Magician. The  
attack bounced back into the legendary card, destroying it.  
  
"NO!" Kaiba's 'ghost' shouted defiantly. "My Blue Eyelids Wit   
Dragon-and-on!"  
  
"You're a doppleganger!" Yugi pointed at the man dueling him. "No  
human can screw up words that bad when he's mad!"  
  
"Dangit!" Kaiba shouted, and tore off the cloak. Underneath was a  
fat, really fat, I mean REALLY fat man... Or pig. One of the two.  
  
"Oink" the Doppleganger snorted. It was a demon pig.  
  
"A demon pig?" Téa sighed. "What will they think up next?"  
  
"You don't wanna know" Tristan warned.  
  
"Very true" Bakura said, stepping up behind them. Téa freaked and  
slapped him. He flew back into the bushes, before anybody could see that it  
was him.  
  
"Who was that?" Mokuba asked. The guard increased his grip, making  
the kid shout out. "THAT HURTS! LEMME GO, YOU"  
  
I'm not going to list what he said, but let's just say a kid that  
young shouldn't have that kind of vocabulary.  
  
Yugi stood, stunned for a moment. "Err... Um... Make your move, I  
guess..."  
  
"Alright!" The doppleganger smiled. "Go, Blue Eyes Number Two!"  
  
Another huge dragon ripped through the ground. Yugi quickly played  
another card, hoping to trick the Doppleganger into attacking.  
  
"Attack again!" Doppleganger smiled, as he ordered the attack. Yugi  
flipped up the Magical Silk Hats.  
  
The Dark Magician dissapeared underneath a quadruplet of hats. The  
blue magic attack stopped cold.  
  
"Attack right, you destroy the Dark Magician..." Yugi taunted.  
"Attack wrong, and you're in for a surprise!"  
  
The blue beam seemed to look around, tilting to aim at each of the  
purple hats in turn. "DO SOMETHING!" Doppleganger cried. The beam did. It  
turned around and shot right back into the mouth of the Blue Eyed Dragon,  
detonating it.  
  
"What the?" Doppleganger shouted defiantly. "T-T-Thart's   
Umposdible! Umstinkable! Undelievdable!"  
  
"I know..." Téa sighed. For once, she agreed with the bad guys. It  
was whatever he said, although she was unsure of what he had said.  
  
"Phat's crot poskiddle!" the Doppleganger stuttered, making no sense  
at all.  
  
"I hear ya' loud and clear!" A deep, yet hazy voice said from behind  
Tristan, Téa, and the unconcious Joey. "I know exactly whatz yur saying!"  
  
Behind them stood Bandit Keith, a rugged, biker-looking american who  
had a serious drug problem.  
  
"Exactly what yur saying..." He swaggered over, then took note of  
Téa. "Hey, purdy la.." he hiccuped, "lady. Wanna dance?"  
  
"I'm not a lady!" Tristan screamed, clobering Bandit Keith in the...  
Well... Vulneurable Parts. The man squirmed and walked away.  
  
"I didn't realize he was talking to you..." Téa muttered.  
  
"Go, BLUE EYES!" Doppleganger shouted out, placing the last Blue  
Eyes onto the field. His Life Points were nearly all gone.  
  
"Attack!" Doppleganger demanded, but the Blue Eyes suddenly started  
to melt.  
  
"Melt?" Yugi wondered. "A melting Blue Eyes? Sure, I've been lucky  
before, but THIS tops it all!"  
  
In fact, the ATK of the Blue Eyes was running wet and running off.  
Numbers floated in a blue pool at the hazy dragon's feet.  
  
"ATTACK, DARK MAGICIAN!" Yugi shouted out.  
  
"GO, DORK MAGICIAN!" Kaiba shouted out, happy that his virus had  
worked.  
  
"RUN, BLUE EYES!" Doppleganger tried to command, but it was too  
late. With a wave of his wand, the Dragon turned into a pile of sludge and  
dissapeared.  
  
"No!" Doppleganger shouted.  
  
"Time to return to the Shadow Realm!" Yugi commanded, raising his  
palm to the Doppleganger.  
  
"PLEASE DON'T!" he begged. "I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!"  
  
"You're going back!" Yami Yugi's harsh voice shot.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Doppleganger tried to extend his voice  
as long as possible.  
  
"Fine..." Yugi sighed, turning back to normal. "Tell Mister Pegasus  
that we're coming for him!"  
  
"Will do!" Doppleganger smiled, running away quickly. A small white  
letter floated down behind him.  
  
"Huh?" Joey slowly woke up and felt the letter in his hands. "Hmm..  
Mokuba's at the Castle... I wonder what THAT'S all about..."  
  
Téa took the first good swing at him since the start of the chapter,  
knocking him back unconcious. 


End file.
